Realizing What We Show

It has been a long but great week for me! I went down to MS and got a chance to visit my mom and some really good friends. They are those friends who have seen me at my worst and my best, who just listen without judging, who will stand by me through anything. I love them SO SO much and I needed this time with them. When I got back into town I had committed to working at the country club that I used to work at full time. So tired, I went into work Sat. night. My "manager" there happens to be another one of those friends that I just love to talk to and spend time with. We dont see each other much anymore, except when I work so all the times are special. We sit around after letting everyone else go and just talk. Talk about struggles and happy times. She is going to be undergoing surgery on Dec. 30 (please pray!) so we discussed her feelings of late and then we discussed mine. She made a comment to me that I looked better than I had in 2 years. WOW and thanks! I think the main reason is that I am ready to make some life altering decisions. Decisions that will affect my kids, my husband, and myself. But the main reason I think she noticed this change is because I am not afraid anymore. I know I am strong enough to get through anything with MY GOD by my side. Placing my path in His hands and being honest about things. You see, I have always felt like I had to settle for things (and yes sometimes we do - we cant get everything) but I am talking about the BIG things. Feeling respected, secure, loved, appreciated. I am talking about finding myself again when I feel like myself has been lost the past few years. Coming out of hiding might be a good way to put it. I feel God working in my heart and I know I am strong enough to endure any battle and climb any mountain. Just knowing all of this has given me a new strength. Getting lost in His Word has filled me up. The void that I have felt for so long has been consumed with His love and desires for me. And I am going to follow those desires regardless of what others think. Thank you My God for being my all - my strength, my love, my rock, and my fortress along with so many other things. Though the road may be long, all things are possible with God as the King of my life!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Proverbs ch.3 v.5-6