Helping To Lessen The Burden

So I have recently discovered the power of how to open up to other people. I know this does not sound like a novel concept but you see I am a fixer of things. It has always just been what I do. I dont ask for help or depend on others, I just do what needs to be done. SO I guess God looked at me and said "You cant fix it without me." You see I was raised to cover things up, pretend everything was going well, smile through the tears. I kinda figured it had gotten me this far why not continue right? And I cant say that I was taught to be this way, it was just the role I took on. I remember my mom always telling me I worried too much and to talk about my feelings. Always easier said than done. Even at work, my coworkers know me as the always calm and collected one. The one who can have a $3000 order that is lost 2 days before it is set to be delivered and never raise my voice, always remain calm, focused, and work through the problem. It has always just suited me. However, I have been living with a personal secret and trying to hide it for years. While I am not ready to share it to the blogging world yet, we will just say it is something I have struggled to hide, ignore, pretend, and hope that it will just solve itself. Yes, I have been praying. Daily I pray for a change. I pray for a change not only for the situation but a change in me for I deal with resentment, anger, bitterness, and more over the situation but also because I have felt just worn out like I couldnt handle it anymore. However, a few weeks ago I felt that nudging. You know the one that God gives you in that quiet moment you are having with Him? The one that says "Okay here is your sign. You can keep doing what you are doing or you can follow me and trust me." So I finally said "okay God but you know I am scared of this and that...excuses on my end...BUT I will see what happens if I let maybe one person in." So that is exactly what I did. I told my secret. The secret I have been hiding for years and carrying around with me. And my burden became lighter. As I opened up to a few others, the burden seem to grow even smaller. Yes, the problem still exist. Yes, I struggle with it daily BUT I am not alone. I have friends lifting me and the situation up in prayer. It is amazing to me what a difference this has made in my life over the past few weeks. I am so thankful for those ladies that know the situation but so thankful for those that dont too but are still lifting me up in prayer. During a recent church service after I had disclosed a very brief discussion on what was going on to a friend, she stood beside me and cried. WOW! This was not the reaction I had expected. See I never wanted people to feel sorry for me for what I was going through b/c I have always been the strong one, the one who could handle and overcome anything and I was scared of the reaction. What I got was nothing like that. What I received was heartfelt friendship. Loving me, supporting me, praying with me, and feeling my pain. Thank you Lord for blessing me with such amazing friends and awesome church. Thank you for forgiving me of my past mistakes. Thank you for being everything I need you to be in every situation.

Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. (Galations 6:2)

My Story

Hello all. After many months of reading blogs, I have felt the overwhelming calling to begin my own. The things I write are me - they have helped mold me into the person I am today. To start off and tell you a bit about myself, I am a Christian wife and mother of 2 wonderful little boys. I am a fulltime marketing consultant for a newspaper as well, trying to juggle the responsibilities of church, wife, mother, and employee which sometimes gets a little caotic. I love my life and would not change it for the world. However, I have been through some very dark places in my life that I was scared I would never come out of. My journey is one of many ups and downs and continues to be that way. However, I live knowing now that my God is truly an awesome God and can and will deliver me to His side. One of my favorite sayings is "God will only give you as much as He knows you can handle" and I firmly believe this is true. My strength has brought me through the rain and when it comes again (because it always does), He will bring me through again.